Today's jokes [1.9.11]
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There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are
talking about the amount of control they have over their wives,
while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,
"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over
The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife
came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they
asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a
Q: What do you call a 6.9?
A: A great sex position fucked up by a period!
Christopher Columbus was the best deal maker in history.
He left not knowing where he was going, and upon arriving, not knowing
where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all
on borrowed money.
A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and
tells the priest he's been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever
since his wife died.
The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the
pig is a male or female.
"No! I'm not doing it anymore!" says the farmer. "And the pig is a
female, of course. What the hell do you think I am -- a goddam queer?
One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took
the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he
wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched
operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. Lastly he
told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep
his testis pouch empty.
After that operation he met the same patient in a garden for morning walk.
Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling now.
He said "Doc everything is fine, life is very cool except that whenever I
scratch my balls, my eyes start watering."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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