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Today's jokes [1.9.11]

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There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are 
talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, 
while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, 

"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over 
your wife?"

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife 
came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they 
asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a 
man'."

1. 




Q: What do you call a 6.9?
A: A great sex position fucked up by a period!


2. 




Christopher Columbus was the best deal maker in history. 
He left not knowing where he was going, and upon arriving, not knowing 
where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all
on borrowed money. 


3. 




A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and
tells the priest he's been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever
since his wife died.
The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the
pig is a male or female.
"No! I'm not doing it anymore!" says the farmer. "And the pig is a
female, of course. What the hell do you think I am -- a goddam queer?



4. 




One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took 
the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he 
wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched 
operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. Lastly he 
told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep 
his testis pouch empty.
After that operation he met the same patient in a garden for morning walk.
Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling now.
He said "Doc everything is fine, life is very cool except that whenever I
scratch my balls, my eyes start watering."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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