Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [1.5.11]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


   While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door:
   Congratulations! You've won one free game of Toilet Tennis!
   Look Left.
   You look left and it reads:
   Look Right
   You look right and it reads:
   Look Left...


1. 




Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One 
notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders.
He says "When did you start wearing them?" To which the other man 
replies "Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car."

2. 




A priest was vested in his surplus and cassock ready to process at the 
beginning of the service. His surplus was very ornate and he was swinging 
the incense pot which had smoke coming from it. A lady touched him on the 
shoulder and said, "Darling, I love your dress; but your purse is on 
fire!"

3. 




What would you rather be, a light bulb or a bowling ball?

Depends on whether you'd rather be screwed of fingered.

4. 




Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates.  After 
knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. "Who goes 
there?" inquired St. Peter.

"'It's me, Bill Clinton." 

"And what do you want?" asked St. Peter. 

"Lemme in!" replied Clinton.

"Soooo," pondered Peter. "What bad things did you do on 
earth?"

Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana 
but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. I 
guess I had extra-marital sex -- but you shouldn't hold that 
against me because I didn't really have 'sexual relations.' And I 
lied, but I didn't commit perjury."

After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, 
here's the deal.  We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, 
but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period 
of time, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And don't abandon all 
hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to 
freeze over."

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 January '11 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
                  1  
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 
30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.