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Today's jokes [1.23.11]

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A bum asks a man for $2.
The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"
The bum said, "No."
The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"
The bum said, "No."
Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can
see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"



1. 




   A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks,
   he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife
   sneered in reply, "Over my dead body !"
   
   He downed his drink and replied, "Well, I see you haven't changed one
   little bit."


2. 




Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: More to the point, what was she doing outside of the kitchen?


3. 




Why does the University of Tennesse football
team wear orange to all their Saturday games? 

     So that they can wear the same outfit to go
     hunting on Sunday, and to work on Monday. 

4. 




What is the definition of Agony?


                                         A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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