Today's jokes [1.2.11]
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"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get
it up for my wife anymore.
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your
clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie
down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said.
"Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
Will sell for parts one F-117 Plane in wrecked condition. Self pick-up
from Yugoslavia by buyer
All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally
dumfounded and asks, "What was that for?" Wife said, "Because, you are
a bad fuck".
Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the
wife was confused
and asked, "And may I ask what's that about?" Husband said, " Simple,
know the difference.
The Letter D Pulls Out
LETTER D PULLS SPONSORSHIP FROM SESAME STREET
Noted Consonant Alienated By Controversial New Gay Muppet
NEW YORK--A spokesperson for the letter D announced Monday that the
consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from Sesame Street following a
Children's Television Workshop announcement that a homosexual muppet
will soon join the show's cast.
"The letter D is proud to have brought you many wonderful Sesame
Street episodes throughout the program's 28-year history," said
Patricia Willis, public-relations director for D. "But the letter D
does not condone the sort of morally questionable lifestyles that
Sesame Street is advocating with the introduction of this new
character. It can no longer in good conscience associate itself with
the show." Willis said D's withdrawal is effective immediately, and
applies to both capital and lower-case versions of the letter.
The gay muppet, "Bruce," will be introduced on Sesame Street Dec. 23,
CTW director Leslie Charren said. Thus far, no other sponsors have
pulled out, though the number seven has requested an advance tape of
the episode before it makes a decision.
Many public-television insiders believe D's withdrawal was motivated
by a desire not to alienate religious conservatives, a section of the
population that employs the letter frequently.
"D is for, among other things, demagoguery, dogma and doctrine, words
crucial to right-wing groups like the Christian Coalition," said Yale
University political-science professor J. Wright Franklin. "It is
likely that D felt it could ill afford to offend such a large segment
of its users."
While a long-term replacement for D has not yet been secured by Sesame
Street, the number three will temporarily fill in for it in a number
of the show's animated shorts. Other pieces will simply skip from C to
E, with vocalists stretching out C into two syllables to match the
rhythm of the alphabet song.
Sesame Street is stung by the sudden departure of its longtime
supporter. Speaking to reporters, cast member Cookie Monster said: "Me
disappointed letter D choose to end relationship with Sesame Street
due to pressure from extremely vocal minority. We accused of endorsing
deviant lifestyle. Me say homosexuality natural, not immoral.
Diversity and enrichment. That's good enough for me." ----------------
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?
A: It's easy, he's the one with the sesame seed buns!
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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