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Today's jokes [1.18.11]

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BUY YUGO WAR BONDS

For $25 US dollars you can invest in the future of a developing
country just out of the clutches of communism.
What your $$$ buyz:  Russian ammo for one freedom fighter for
one month for the ethnic clensing!
Their motto:  I wanns be like Ike!  A little behind the times, BUT!
They model themselves after the US of A.
They want to establish a land- first ridding themselves of
undesireables (like the US did against the native inhabitants)
Why not? What's good enough for US is good enuff for them!

1. 




Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? 

    He decided to stick it out for one more year! 

2. 




How can you tell when your girlfriend's horny? 

    You stick your hands in her panties and it feels like you feeding a horse. 

3. 




A lady went running to a doctor with a badly spoiled stomach.  
"What did you eat for dinner last night?" asked the doctor.
"Oysters," she said.
"Fresh oysters?" asked the doctor.
"How should I know?" said the lady
"Well," asked the doctor, "couldn't you tell when you took off the 
shells?"
"My Gosh," gasped the lady.  "Are you supposed to take off the shells?"

4. 




What happened to the Pope when he visited Mount Olive? 

     - Popeye almost killed him. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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