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Today's jokes [1.11.11]

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A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one
afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the
horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog's
fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will
be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That evening the
Indian chief tells the cowboy that he can have one last wish,
within reason, before meeting his ultimate fate the the
following morning. The cowboy tells the chief that his last
request is to see his faithful dog, Rex. When the dog is brought
by the Indians the cowboy strokes and pets his companion and
whispers something into his ear. At once the dog bounds and runs
through the Indian village and over the hill. This does not
particularly distress the Indians as they didn't really know what
to do with the dog anyway.

At about 8 o'clock that evening the dog returns accompanied by
some two dozen hookers from the closest town. Needless to say the
braves were delighted at the prospect of an evening's entertainment.
As the orgy wore on through the night, the chief told the cowboy
that his stake burning was being postponed as they were all too
tired from partying.

The next day, the chief said to the cowboy, "in gratitude for
furnishing the ladies last night, I'm going to grant you another
request before you are burned at the stake in the morning." Again
the cowboy requests to see his faithful dog. When the dog is
brought forth the cowboy again strokes and pets his companion
and whispers into his ear, "this may be my last chance Rex, so
please get it right this time --- go to town and get the posse!" 

1. 




A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the 
radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The 
state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an 
empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you 
been drinking?"

And the minister says, "Just water."

The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good 
Lord, He's done it again!"

2. 




What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?

Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch... 

3. 




Q: Why can't Jesus eat M & M's?
A: Because they fall through the holes in his hands.


4. 




Did you hear the one about the guy who had five penises ?
He had a pair of underpants that fitted him like a glove.....

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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