Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [1.10.11]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an 
African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three 
social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.
The bartender turned around and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"


1. 




Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head
covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived
without her head covering. The priest informs her that she 
cannot enter without it. 
A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to
her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to
enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse." 
"But Father, I have a divine right," she informs.
"Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must 
wear a blouse to enter *this* church!" he insists.

2. 




This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler was alive and well and
living in South America.  He managed to wrangle a 'once-in-a-lifetime'
interview with Hitler on the condition that he was not to reveal where
Hitler was living.  He went to this interview, and lo and behold, yes, it
was Adolf Hitler, looking very old.  He interviewed him, asking him all
sorts of questions, and as a final question, asked "What are you doing now,
in the twilight of your life?"

Hitler replied "Hah!  Twilight of my life!  I'll have you know that I am
secretly putting together the 4th Reich, right here in South America!  This
time we'll do it right.  We have a foolproof plan - this time we will kill
EVERY JEW in the world - and 6 MEXICANS!!!".

The journalist asked  "...but...but....but why 6 MEXICANS??"

Hitler jumped to his feet and yelled "SEE, I TOLD THEM THAT NO-ONE GIVES A
SHIT ABOUT THE JEWS!"



3. 




Names to Use in Prank Calls



                                         Hugh G. Rection
                                           Jim Nassium
                                         Claire Voyence
                                          Buster Hyman
                                    Anita Moore (Roger's Mom)
                                           Dick Peede
                                            Mike Hunt

                                        Mai Dixie Wrecked
                                      Jon Doe's brother Dil

4. 




Chanowski & his other Polak drinking buddy are sitting at a bar . " See 
those guys over there ? " Chanowski says." I'm going over there and ask 
them what they think of Polaks." Chanowki walks up to the two guys sitting 
at the other end of the bar and asks them what they think of Polaks. One 
of the men gives Chanowski the finger. The middle finger. Chanowski then 
walks back to his drinking buddy. " Well , what do they think of Polaks?" 
he asks. "We're still number one , " replies Chanowski.

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 January '11 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
                  1  
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 
30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.