Today's jokes [1.10.11]
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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an
African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three
social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.
The bartender turned around and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head
covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived
without her head covering. The priest informs her that she
cannot enter without it.
A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to
her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to
enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse."
"But Father, I have a divine right," she informs.
"Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must
wear a blouse to enter *this* church!" he insists.
This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler was alive and well and
living in South America. He managed to wrangle a 'once-in-a-lifetime'
interview with Hitler on the condition that he was not to reveal where
Hitler was living. He went to this interview, and lo and behold, yes, it
was Adolf Hitler, looking very old. He interviewed him, asking him all
sorts of questions, and as a final question, asked "What are you doing now,
in the twilight of your life?"
Hitler replied "Hah! Twilight of my life! I'll have you know that I am
secretly putting together the 4th Reich, right here in South America! This
time we'll do it right. We have a foolproof plan - this time we will kill
EVERY JEW in the world - and 6 MEXICANS!!!".
The journalist asked "...but...but....but why 6 MEXICANS??"
Hitler jumped to his feet and yelled "SEE, I TOLD THEM THAT NO-ONE GIVES A
SHIT ABOUT THE JEWS!"
Names to Use in Prank Calls
Hugh G. Rection
Anita Moore (Roger's Mom)
Mai Dixie Wrecked
Jon Doe's brother Dil
Chanowski & his other Polak drinking buddy are sitting at a bar . " See
those guys over there ? " Chanowski says." I'm going over there and ask
them what they think of Polaks." Chanowki walks up to the two guys sitting
at the other end of the bar and asks them what they think of Polaks. One
of the men gives Chanowski the finger. The middle finger. Chanowski then
walks back to his drinking buddy. " Well , what do they think of Polaks?"
he asks. "We're still number one , " replies Chanowski.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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