Jokes2Go @ Lunch [9.7.10]

Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee when the toilet seat falls 
down on top of his penis. He starts screaming and crying. His mom comes 
running into the room wondering what's going on. He tells his mother 
"Mommy, the toilet seat fell on top of my penis. Kiss it better."

"Johnny you are getting more and more like your father everyday."
His mother says.

I was out walking with my then 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something
off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.

"Why?"

"Because it's been laying outside and it is dirty and probably has germs."

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How
do you know all this stuff?"

Uh, I was thinking quickly, "...all moms knows this stuff. Um, it's on the
Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information.

OH...I get It!" she beamed, "So if you flunk, you have to be the Daddy."

Part 3 of 3
Then up spoke a lady from Kew,
And said, as the Bishop withdrew,
"The vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker,
And longer and stronger than you."

"Resist much.
Obey little." 

    - Walt Whitman