Today's jokes [9.7.10]
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A straight guy and a gay are in the men's room and the straight guy has
his shirt unbuttoned exposing a heavy coat of chest hair. The gay asked
how he came to have so much hair on his chest. He said, "I put Vaseline
on it every night." That night the gay put Vaseline on his chest and went
to bed. His partner George said, "What in the hell is that?" "It's to grow
hair." he replied. "Bull shit!" said George. "If Vaseline grew hair...I'd
have tail a mile long!
A naive young girl goes into the doctor's office. She says, "Doc, I'm
getting married and
I'm a little inexperienced, so I'd like to ask you a few questions."
He says, "All right."
She says, "All right...what is that thing that hangs between my
fiancÚ's legs?" The doctor
says, "That's the penis. The male organ, the penis." She says, "Okay.
And what is that
big red knob at the end?" The doctor says, "That's the glans. The head
of the penis, the
glans." She says, "Okay. And what are those two round things, about
behind the head?" The doctor says, "Well, lady, I don't know about
your fiancÚ, but on
me, they're the cheeks of my ass."
Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than
it does today ??
We would get our paycheck everyday, and all women would bleed to death...
This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago
that I lost my dear wife and children.
I'll never forget that game of cards...
Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, "Can you tell me the part
of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's
normal size, and state the conditions."
Mary gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an
inappropriate question and my parents are going to
hear of it when I get home!"
She sat down, red-faced.
"Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Baldwin.
"The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions," said Susan.
"Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you. First, you have not
studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, boy are you
going to be disappointed someday!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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