Today's jokes [9.6.10]

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The angry wife met her husband at the door.  His breath stunk of
alcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. "I assume," she
barked, "there is a very good reason for you to come drifting in
at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is!" he replied, "Breakfast."

Q: What's the difference between a policeman's knightstick
and a magician's wand?

A: A Magician's wand is for cunning stunts. 

Why haven't Women landed on the Moon? 

     - Because it doesn't need cleaning yet! 

Isaac and Hymie were two tired Brooklyn businessmen who were
ordered to take a Caribbean cruise by their doctors. The second night
out on the way to Martinique they were leaning against the rail,
looking at the big bright tropical moon on the sea, really starting
to unwind.
        Suddenly the rail broke and both Jews fell screaming into the
ocean. They came up gasping and spluttering and saw the ship sailing
away from them into the darkness. As Isaac had fallen overboard he had
managed to grab a life preserver, and now he clung to it, desperately
treading water. "Hyman!" he called out, "Hyman, can you float alone?"

"Oy vay!" called out Hymie from the dark waters. "Vat a time to
talk business!"

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach
   a four-way stop at the same time?

A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper
   sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

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