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Today's jokes [9.3.10]

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Two English sheep in a field.
One says to the other "I'm not feeling very well"

The other turns around and replies

"Shut-the-f*ck-up, or you'll get us all killed"


Sent by paully

1. 




A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says, 
"I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away, 
but what could "I" possibly do to save the country?"
Mrs. Clinton: "Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit..."

2. 




Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? 

A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

3. 




How do you know a blond has been using your computer?

When the joy stick is wet!


Sent by Richard

4. 




These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day 
Larry said to Joe, "You know man its been a long time since we had some 
sex so you oughta let me fuck you." Joe replied. "Are you crazy?!!" Larry
went on to say, "I promise you that it won't hurt and we'll flip a coin 
and see who fucks, who first. So, Joe thought about it for a minute and 
finally agreed. They flipped a coin and Larry won. Still having strong 
reservation Joe asked, "How will you tell if it hurts or not?" Larry told 
Joe, "If it hurts you start making animal noises, and I'll stop. But if it 
feels good start singing." Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed, 
Moooooooo. Moooooo. Mooooon River......

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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