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Today's jokes [9.28.10]

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Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?

     To get away from the noise.

1. 




A Mexican, a black, and a white guy are in a bar having a drink when a
good-looking girl comes up to them and says "whoever can say liver and
cheese in a sentence can have me". So the white guy says
"I love liver and cheese." she says "that's not good enough." 
The black says "I hate liver and cheese", and she says "that's not
creative", and then the Mexican says "liver alone cheese mine."



2. 




Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come 
home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. 

The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: " 
OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and 
touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like 
semen."

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, 
smells it, and says "It smells like semen." 

The blonde,  reaches out and touches it with her fingers 
and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, 
"It doesn't taste like anyone in this building . . ."

3. 




Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker,
and he says, "How much?"
She says, "Twenty bucks."
He says, "All right."
They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her.  The next night, he
runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time 
while he's banging her, she blasts two incredible farts.  When they get 
done, he hands her twenty-FIVE dollars.
She says, "What the extra five?"
He says, "That's for blowing the sand off my balls."

4. 




We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.
When you, the people of the U.S., promise to stop sending us
your old people, we will release your election.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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