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Today's jokes [9.14.10]

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What have a blonde and a computer got in common?

You don't realise how much you miss them until they go down on you!


Sent by Tiggsy


1. 




What's red and invisible? 

No tomatoes.

2. 




Little Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there
his teacher asked,
"Why are you late little Johnny?"
Johnny replied, "My grandpa got burnt, Miss."
The teacher replied, "I hope it wasn't too bad."
Then little Johnny said, "Don't worry, the crematorium doesn't
muck around!"

3. 




MICHAEL KENNEDY

   What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
   John Denver made it alive out of Aspen.
   Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?
   Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing"
   How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy?
   Check the family tree.
   A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at
   the
   snow-covered knoll...
   What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common?
   Wood pulp.
   New bumper sticker...."Plant A Tree....Kill A Kennedy...."
   What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers?
   A1: One more bullet.
   A2: A season lift pass.


4. 




If IBM made toasters...
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be
submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide
market for five, maybe six toasters.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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