Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [9.11.10]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


    Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls
   make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit
   card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
   Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good
   girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could
   do it better. Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a
   strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a
   strand of pearls. Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear
   high heels to bed. Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"


1. 




"What's the difference between the North American porcupine 
and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the 
zookeeper.

"The principal difference is the North American species has a 
longer prick."

This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who 
stormed immediately to the zoo manager's office. The zoo 
manager said, "Ma'am, I apologize for my staff's unfortunate 
choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the 
North American species has a longer *quill*. In fact, their 
pricks are just about the same size."

2. 




The morning after their honeymoon night, Julie says to her
husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!"

Her husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?"

3. 




   An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old
   girls house. One
   day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting
   the girl. He holds up
   the football and says, "See this football? Football is a boys game,
   and only boys can have a
   football!". The little girl runs into the house and cries to her
   mother, "I want a football!"
   Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one.
   The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on
   his bike. She holds up
   the football, "Nah Nah Nah Nah". The little boy angryly points to his
   bike and says, "Oh
   yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you
   can't have one!" She
   runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys
   bike.
   The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to
   his most private of
   parts says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you
   one!!!". The next
   day he walks by and asks her, "Well, I guess I showed you!" to which
   she promptly pulls
   up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me
   that as long as I have
   one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!
   


4. 




   The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent
   marriage annulled. "On what grounds ?" questioned the Judge, "This
   court does not take annulments lightly."
   
   "Non-virginity," replied the quarterback, "When I married her, I
   thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had
   married a wide receiver."


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 September '10 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.