Today's quotes [8.23.10]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still
find my #%@# clothes."
- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he
keeps a color photo of himself above his locker
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like
grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they
mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner.
"Americans have different ways of saying things.
They say "elevator", we say "lift" ...
they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git."
"Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than
the Chinese telephone directory."
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31