Today's jokes [8.3.10]
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She: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body?
He: Your sense of humor.
Should you have any questions during the exam,
just raise your hand. This should cause enough
blood to flow to your brain to answer it yourself.
A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had growen tired of working so hard
to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it. So he thought it
would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Well he sent for one and
on the day she was arriving he hitched up his horse and buggy and headed for the
nearest train station. After meeting his new bride, he loaded all her bags into
the wagon and then headed for thier honeymoon home. They had traveled only two
miles when the horse stumbled, and the rancher got out and whipped the horse to
its feet. He looked at the horse and said "THATS ONE" and got back in the wagon
smiled at the woman and continued on thier way. They traveled only another two
miles when the horse stumbled again, and again the rancher got out of the wagon
to whip the horse to its feet, telling the horse "THATS TWO". He took his seat
beside his new bride and continued on thier way. After traveling another two
miles the horse stumbled for the third time. The rancher got out of the wagon
carrying his rifle, he walk up to the horse and shot it right between the eyes,
saying"THATS THREE". He turn to the wagon only to hear his new bride say "why
in the hell did you do that for, now we have to walk". The rancher turn to the
woman and said "THATS ONE".
Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't
I need you to whip it out by 5:00!
Mind if I use your laptop?
Put this in my box before you leave.
I want it on my desk now!
Hmm.. I think I'm out of fluid.
My equipment's so old, it takes forever to finish!
It's an entry level position.
When do you think you'll be getting off today?
It's not fair... I do all the work while he just sits back!
Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with Prince Charles?
It seems that no-one else has big enough ears to go 12 rounds.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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