Today's stories [7.25.10]
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Blondes Protective Computer Gear
Yesterday I came back to my office from Court. There was a new
secretary (a very attractive blonde) in the office down the hall from
She flagged me down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work,
can you help me ?" she asked. I told her I'd take a look and
proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear
plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive.
While I spent the next 20 minutes getting out her disk and digging
out the plastic, I noticed two guys, John and Dave, in the hall
trying awfully hard to keep straight faces. Suspecting some mischief,
I asked her how the plastic got into the drive.
"Oh, you mean the condom!", she said. "Condom???", I asked. "Yes,
John & Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk
before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses."
By this point, John & Dave were roaring, and it was all I could do to
keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard 3.5"
plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke
had been played, and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked
(as serious as one could be), "Does that mean I don't have to stroke
it ten times or blow on it either???"
My wife and I were watching a show on The Learning Channel titled, "A
Dog's World." One segment focused on dogs practice of urinating everywhere
to define who they are and whose territory it is, among many other things.
"Basically," the narrator said, "dogs are leaving each other messages."
I looked at my wife and said, "So I guess we could call it p-mail."
During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I
was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher,
was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave. "No, Daddy,
please don't go!" he kept repeating.
We were beginning to make a scene when my wife, desperate to calm him,
said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza."
Immediately, Christopher loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a
calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
Craig S. Kunishige in Reader's Digest
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