Today's stories [7.23.10]

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My wife and I had just finished tucking our five young ones into bed one
evening when we heard sobbing coming from three- year-old Billy's room.
Rushing to his side, we found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally
swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking
could change his mind.

Desperate to calm him, my wife palmed a penny that she happened to have
in her pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy's ear. Billy was
delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my wife's hand, swallowed it
and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, mum!"

I started a new job the other day, and while riding the elevator,
noticed a sign which read (THIS IS NOT MADE-UP):

        "If elevator should malfunction or doors not open, 
        don't be alarmed.  Please press the alarm button."

Is it just me, or does anybody else find this outrageously funny?

SIGN INSIDE OF LIFEBOAT:

        "Some wetness is normal.  If submersion occurs, move arms
        in a swimming motion."

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