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Today's poems [7.3.10]

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A young trapeze artist named Bract,
Is faced by a very sad fact.
Imagine his pain,
When again and again,
He catches his wife in the act. 

1. 




There was a young lady of Mott
Who inserted a fly up her twat
And pretended the buzz
Was not what it was,
But something she knew it was not. 

2. 




Pardon My French
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The finest culture
  Comes from Frontz
And hoe-knee-swat-key
  Molly-ponce!

Sally learned
  To speak in French
She's now a dame
  And not a wench

Dick acquired
  That language fair
And now he's swayve
  And deb-an-err

Speaking French
  Will prove you're better
Show you've got a
  Rays-on-debtor

Read in French
   And sack-ray-blue!
You're sure to find
  Your tom-pair-doo

Write in French
  And you'll be famous
Just like muss-your
  Albert Camus

You can bet
  Your dairy-air
Your French will prove
  Your salve-war-fare

He who is
  A true believer
Shows his Gallic
  Joyed-a-fever

French cuisine
  Is all the rage
So drink Bored-O
  With soft from-age

Wear a little
  Black beret
And eat cross-ants
  With French calf-A

Then there's all
  That art you know
So speak bow-czar
  And art-new-foe

And what a joy
  To smoke Get-tans
While watching films
  That come from Cans

I guess it's not
  An easy job
To be a phony
  Stuck-up snob...

Such games in Frontz
  They also play
But there "c'est snob"
  To speak anglais!

3. 




There once was a gangster named Brown,
The wiliest bastard in town.
He was caught by the G-men
Shooting his semen
Where the cops would all slip and fall down. 

4. 




There was an old harlot of Wick
Who was sucking a coal miner's prick
She said, "I don't mind
The coal dust and grime,
But the smell of your balls makes me sick."

5. 



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