Today's poems [7.16.10]

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               There was an old soldier named Schmitt 
               Took a trip to the can for to shit. 
                    To his epic despair 
                    No paper was there. 
               So he simply continued to sit. 

Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious Lieutenant Major,
Ben proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of the Hayden Octet in B-Major. 

A pretty young gal from Hong Kong
Said "I think you are utterly wrong
To say my vagina's
the largest in China
Just because of your mean little dong!"

I was desperate, I was weary
I prayed for holy guidance from above
I thought she came to lead me through the darkness
But then I felt a probing rubber glove...

There was a young maiden of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
"If you kiss me, of course,
You will have to use force,-
But god knows you are stronger that I am."

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