Today's poems [7.11.10]

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Hey Masturbater
 
 (To The Tune Of Macarena) 
 
 Sitting in my house and I know that I'm alona, 
 Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona, 
 Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon Stona,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I go a little faster and it's feeling kind of nicea,
 Once is not enough so I have to do it twicea, 
 If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I use some baby oil or a little vaselina, 
 Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet cleana, 
 Never shake my hand cos you don't know where its beena,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I do it in the car when I'm driving down the streeta,
 One hand on the wheel and the other on my meata, 
 I can't get out the car cos I'm sticking to the seata,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 Since I was a kid I have been a mastubater, 
 Choke the chicken, hum the knob, squeezing the tomata,
 I've looked at Miss November, now I'm gonna decorata,
 Hey Masturbata!!!! 


 Sent by Paul

There once was a fiesty young terrier
Who liked to bite girls on the derriere.
He'd yip and he'd yap,
Then leap up and snap;
And the fairer the derriere the merrier.

There was a young man named M'Gurk
Who dozed off one night after work.
He had a wet dream,
But awoke with a scream
Just in time to give it a jerk. 

There was a young lady of Spain 
Who took down her pants on a train. 
There was a young porter 
Saw more than he orter, 
And asked her to do it again. 

Said a swinging young girl named Lyth
Whose virtue was largely a myth,
"Try as hard as I can,
I can't find a man
That it's fun to be virtuous with." 

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