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Today's jokes [7.7.10]

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   One day, while an elephant was walking through the woods, she got a
   thorn stuck in her foot. She saw an ant passing and asked him to help
   her get the thorn out.
   
   The ant asked, "What do I get in return?"
   
   The elephant replied, "If you get it out, I'll have sex with you."
   
   So the ant gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out
   he looks up at the elephant and says "OK it's out, are you ready?".
   
   The elephant thinks, "Hey, what's a little ant gonna do anyways?" The
   ant climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey overhead
   drops a coconut on the elephant's head.
   
   "Ouch" screams the elephant, and the ant responds, "Yeah take it all
   bitch."
   


1. 




Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband 
said to you when he woke up that morning?"

Witness: "Where am I Cathy?"

Attorney: "And why did that upset you?"

Witness: "Because my name is Susan."

2. 




What is a man's best friend? 

    His dick because it always sitcks up for him. 

3. 




A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable
cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot
bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the
windows and stand in the draft.

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said his physician. "I can cure pneumonia."

4. 




What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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