Today's jokes [7.6.10]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
What is the last thing you usually hear before a
'Hey y'all... Watch this!'
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:
"don't" and "stop".
Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache.
"I've got a beaut cure for a headache," said his mate Trev. "Whenever I
have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet
blowjob. Never fails."
A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. "Did you try my
headache cure," asked Trev. "Yeah said Phil, worked great! Your house is
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the
sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth
of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the
stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out
why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his
"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you
should be working rather than lying on the beach!"
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?"
"Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer.
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.
The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then
result in larger catches of fish!"
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again.
The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You
can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.
"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing
boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!"
Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you
can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all
the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think I'm doing right now?"
In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward
and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to
write a new book about the scandal. Working title: "All the
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31