Today's jokes [7.25.10]
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Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club near his home. He goes
in and is turned down flat because he does not meet their "standards." So
he enrolls in the finest schools to learn the art of being culturally
rich. Moshe learns to cook the finest of foods, appreciate the best art,
drive the best car, wear the classiest suits, etc. He even hires Professor
Henry Higgins to educate him in the proper speech and behavior.
The big day arrives. Martin James Roget arrives at the country club for
"Tea?" the interviewer asks.
"Earl Grey, hot please."
"Polo, racket ball, hunting."
What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?
Perfect setup for skeet shooting.
For more ahem...adventerous types....
What is "71"?
"69" with two fingers up your ass.
Whats the difference between pink and purple?
A woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she
sufferred from excessive
flatulance, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done
nothing about it until
now. So the Dr. took down all of her medical history,a process that
took quite a while. At
the end, the woman says, "You see, Dr Smyth while I've been sitting
here talking to you
I've broken wind five times, but there's no sound and no smell." At
this point, the Dr.
scribbled something on a pad, ripped off a sheet and handed it to the
this?" she asked, "some pills?" "No", replied Dr Smyth, "that is a
prescription for a
hearing aid: come in next week, and we'll operate on your nose."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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