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Today's jokes [7.25.10]

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Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club near his home. He goes 
in and is turned down flat because he does not meet their "standards."  So 
he enrolls in the finest schools to learn the art of being culturally 
rich. Moshe learns to cook the finest of foods, appreciate the best art, 
drive the best car, wear the classiest suits, etc. He even hires Professor 
Henry Higgins to educate him in the proper speech and behavior.
The big day arrives.  Martin James Roget arrives at the country club for
his interview.
   "Tea?" the interviewer asks.
   "Earl Grey, hot please."
   "Hobbies?"
   "Polo, racket ball, hunting."
   "Religion?"
   "Goy."

1. 




What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?

Perfect setup for skeet shooting.

2. 




For more ahem...adventerous types....

What is "71"?

"69" with two fingers up your ass.

3. 




Whats the difference between pink and purple?


                     Your grip.

4. 




   A woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she
   sufferred from excessive
   flatulance, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done
   nothing about it until
   now. So the Dr. took down all of her medical history,a process that
   took quite a while. At
   the end, the woman says, "You see, Dr Smyth while I've been sitting
   here talking to you
   I've broken wind five times, but there's no sound and no smell." At
   this point, the Dr.
   scribbled something on a pad, ripped off a sheet and handed it to the
   woman. "What's
   this?" she asked, "some pills?" "No", replied Dr Smyth, "that is a
   prescription for a
   hearing aid: come in next week, and we'll operate on your nose."
   


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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