Today's jokes [7.20.10]

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What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?

Wayne takes a shower after three periods.

Do you know the problem with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don't think they're funny, and the rest of us don't
think they're jokes!

The Answer: A Cockrobin.
The Question: What are you putting in my mouth, Batman?

George Costanza's Tips for Working Hard I

Never walk down the hall without a document in your
hands. People with documents in their hands look like
hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People
with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the
cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like
they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you
carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating
the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,
"I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."
Well, you can imagine her disappointment.
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this
time he doesn't get her anything.
She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"
He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"

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