Today's jokes [7.19.10]
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Did you here what Monica Lewinskys' mother said when she brought home her
What,doesn't the White House have any club soda?
Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners
after his Sunday morning service as he always does when
Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady.
"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary.
"Well what is it, Mary?"
"Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father."
"Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's terrible. Tell me Mary,
did he have any last requests?"
"Well, yes he did father," replied Mary.
"What did he ask, Mary?"
Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'"
Miles Dobson was away from home on business in another city. When he
called home, his wife told him, "Miles, they had your name in the obits
"What! In the obituary column! That's not only disgraceful but bad
journalism. I'll sue 'em."
"Tell me, Miles," his wife asked tremulously, "wh...wh...where are you
Q: What's the most active muscle in a woman?
A: The penis.
A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her
place for the night. Her parents are out of town and this is the perfect
They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom. When the guy
walks in the door, he notices all these fluffy toys. There's hundreds of
them, fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and
window sill, there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over
Later after they've had sex, he turns to her and asks "So, how was I?"
She says "Well ... you can take anything from the bottom shelf."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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