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Today's jokes [7.15.10]

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It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed
to confess, so he went to his Priest. 
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWll, I hid a Jewish man in 
my attic." 
"Well," answered the Priest, "That's no a sin." 
"But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed." 
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." 
"Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more 
question." 
"What is it son." 
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

1. 




This male prostitute contracted syphilis.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

2. 




A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about 
sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything 
they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the 
back of the class. 

She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, "oh miss, oh 
miss!" with his arm pumping.

"Yes, Johnny, what is it?" she asked, trying to remain calm. Little Johnny 
stood up and proclaimed to the class, "at our house, we have everything."

"Don't be silly," the teacher replied, "not even the richest man has 
everything."

"We do," he answered, "My daddy said so the other day."

"Now, why would your father say such a thing?" she asked.

"Well, my fifteen year old sister came home with her skinhead boyfriend, 
and told poppa she was pregnant. That's when my dad said "God, that's all 
we needed."

3. 




Top 15 Household Pet Dishes



15> Angelfish Cake
14> Hamster and Cheese on Rye
13> Chow Chow Mein
12> Bran Muffy
11> Eggs BenjiDict
10> Yorkieshire pudding
 9> Shih-Tzu Kabobs
 8> Potbelly Pig in a Blanket
 7> Shrimp Cockatiel
 6> Fettucine AlFido
 5> Chicken Poodle Soup
 4> Turtlellini
 3> Lhasa Thermidor
 2> Rex-Mex Enchihuahuas
 1> I'll-Teach-You-to-Piss-On-My-Pillow Persian Pancakes

   [ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
   [  *To forward or repost, please include this section.*  ]
   [ The Top Five List    top5@walrus.com   www.topfive.com ]



4. 




How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?

The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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