Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's jokes [7.1.10]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel
bag onto the plane.  Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to
stuff it in the overhead bin.  "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" 
she sighed.
"No more," the man said.  "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my 
partner can buy the ticket!"


Three men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven.
St. Peter asks the first man, "What did you do on Earth?" 
Man #1: I was a doctor. 
St. P.: Go right through those pearly gates.

St. P.: And what did you do on Earth?
Man #2: I was a school teacher.
St. P.: Go right through those pearly gates.

St. P.: And what did you do on Earth?
Man #3: I was a musician.
St. P.: Go around the side, up the freight elevator, through the 


For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this 
"You are not getting older,
You are just getting better."
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, "Just put 'You are not 
getting older' at the top, and 'You are just getting better' at the 
It wasn't until the good doctor was ready to serve
the cake that he discovered it read:


The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor 
asked him the standard questions -- age, height, weight, and then he asked 
when was the last time the general had sex.
'Oh,' he mused, 'It was 1945.'
'Isn't that a long time to go without sex?' the doctor asked.
'I don't think so. According to your clock it's only 21:13.'  


A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table 
watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap 
dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy 
the duck from its owner. After some wheelin' and dealin' they settled for 
$10000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs 
back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot 
before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked 
the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the 


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 July '10 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
            1  2  3  
4  5  6  7  8  9  10 
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 
25 26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.