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Today's stories [6.18.10]

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   So you think you're computer-illiterate?
   Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by
   Jim Carlton --
   Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
   Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key
   is. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard
   to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
   plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
   Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that
   the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes.
   After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the
   problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then
   rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
   Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
   diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
   with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
   A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back
   in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold
   on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the
   room to close the door to his room.
   Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
   fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
   discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
   front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
   Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell
   tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of
   friends,"the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store,
   the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of
   geeks."
   Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
   longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and
   water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
   and washing them individually.
   A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
   because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The
   tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
   shouldn't be taken personally.
   An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
   new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged
   in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
   button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
   nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's
   mouse.
   Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
   computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in,
   and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
   asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
   power switch?"


1. 




   True story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
   
   Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
   Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
   Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
   period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
   Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
   Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
   Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.
   Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How
   did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
   Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
   promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point the Tech Rep had
   to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been
   using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it
   off the drive.


2. 




Last weekend I was in the grocery store getting a gallon of milk. As a walk up to the check out
line the lady in front of me turns around and says, " You are such a doll, you look almost 
identical to my daughter." Being polite I said thank you and asked the woman if her daughter 
was in college? I woman replied, "No she died about 2 years ago in car accident." I was in 
complete shock; I didn't no what to say. As the woman was handing the clerk her coupons she 
asked me to do a favor for her. I couldn't say no or it would seem too awkward. She asked me 
if I would wave at her and say "by mom." as she was leaving. Feeling very weird, as the lady 
was leaving I said "by mom!" When the clerk rang up my milk he said that will be $65.39. I am 
thinking WHAT?! The clerk said your mom told me you would take the bill for her also. My first 
reaction was to run after the lady. As I was close behind her, maybe a foot, I tripped and 
pulled her leg just like I am pulling yours!! 


3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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