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Today's poems [6.5.10]

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There was once a mechanic named Bench 
               Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench. 
                    With this vibrant device 
                    He could reach, in a trice, 
               The innermost parts of a wench. 

1. 




There was a young rascal named James, 
            Who liked to play terrible games, 
                He lit up the front 
                Of his Grandmother's cunt 
            And laughed as she pissed through the flames! 

2. 




There was a young girl named Dalrymple 
            Whose sexual equipment was so simple 
                That on examination they found 
                Little more than a mound 
            In the center of which was a dimple. 

3. 




               There was a young fellow named Perkin 
               Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. 
                    His wife said, "Now, Perkin, 
                    Stop jerkin' your gherkin: 
               You're shirkin' your ferkin'---you bastard!" 

4. 




               A pathetic appellant at Reno 
               Was as chaste as the holy Bambino, 
                    For she'd married a slicker 
                    Who stuck to his liquor 
               And scorned her ripe maraschino

5. 



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