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Today's poems [6.26.10]

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There was an old maid from Bruton 
               Who had the bad habit of pootin'. 
                    Her sphincter was weak, 
                    Her wind she couldn't keep--- 
               This tootin' old spinster from Bruton. 

1. 




Have you heard of young Franchot Tone 
               Who felt of his own peculiar bone? 
                    It was long and quite narrow 
                    And filled full of marrow, 
               And less edible than stale corn pone. 

2. 




There was a young rump from Ra-cine
        Whose bot-tom was in-ter-est-ing-ly keen.
        No wig-gle or shook
        It was hard as a book,
        When it blos-somed I sqirt-ed my bean.

3. 





            Thank God for the Duchess of Gloucester, 
            She obliges all who accost her. 
                She welcomes the prick 
                Of Tom, Harry, or Dick, 
            Or Baldwin, or even Lord Astor. 

4. 




Here was a young man of Cape Horn, 
                                        Who wished he had never been born. 
                                                      And he wouldn't have been, 
                                                      If his father had seen 
                                        That the end of the rubber was torn. 
                                                                                                                                      

5. 



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