Today's jokes [6.4.10]
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There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The
woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they
couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny.
The husband then donated some of his skin..... however, the only place
suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks.
The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all
this was a very delicate matter!
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's
new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All
her friends and relatives just raved about her youthful beauty!
She was alone with her husband one day and she wanted to thank him for
what he had done. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for
everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!!!"
He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough every
time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!!"
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says,
"I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!"
"Oh NO! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you
look less attractive."
"I also heard that you've been calling me fat?!?"
"Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes
makes you look larger than you really are."
"I've also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart
on his dick!"
"Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Q: What is the difference between a single 40-year-old
woman and a single 40-year-old man? A: The 40-year-old woman thinks
often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.
How can ya tell when a woman has fucked too much?
Ya put yer thumb in her ass, AND yer middle-finger in her cunt...
Now, if ya can SNAP yer fingers, ya know she's been fucking too much..
A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman
who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the
pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally
bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually
still alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the
end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out
the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out,
"WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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