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Today's jokes [6.28.10]

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Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of 
the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to be as 
far away from humanity as possible. 

Sam sees the mailman once a week and gets groceries once a month. 
Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet. 

After 6 months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner one 
day when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, 
bearded man standing there. "Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles 
over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you'd like to come." 

"Great," says Sam, "after 6 months of this I'm ready to meet some local 
folks. Thank you." 

As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some 
drinking." "Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, I 
can drink with the best of 'em." 

Again, as he starts to leave, Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some 
fightin' too." Damn, Sam thinks... Tough crowd. "Well, I get along with 
people. I'll be there. Thanks again." 

Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these 
parties, too." "Now that's not a problem," says Sam, "Remember I've been 
alone for 6 months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I 
wear?" 

Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be 
the two of us."

1. 




Two buddies get together and decide to
go to a whorehouse, one of them tired of
doing it with his wife all the time, the
other not having it done for a long time.
 Anyways the married one goes up and
comes down and says " My wife is much
better".  "Allright" goes the other guy,
" Let me go try the same woman."
Well he goes and screws the whore,
comes than says to his buddy,  " You are
right man, Your wife is much better."

2. 




   A young couple from the country honeymooned at a really fancy
   ocean-side resort. because they knew it would be expensive, they had
   planned to limit their stay to just the weekend, but were just unable
   to leave, enjoying themselves and each other so much, and extended
   their stay another day. Upon checking out, the desk clerk said,
   "That'll be an additional $150 apiece."
   
   "Good God man !!!" cried the groom, totally shocked, "That's two
   thousand two-hundred and fifty dollars !!! Are you crazy ???"


3. 




   After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was
   nursing a king-size hangover
   and asked his wife, "What the hell happened?"
   "As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied
   the wife.
   "Piss on him," answered the husband.
   "You did," said the wife, "and he fired you."
   "Well, fuck him," said the husband.
   "I did, and you go back to work in the morning."
   


4. 




Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he 
had gotten circumcised last week. "Can I see it?" asked the second gay guy.

So the first guy promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation.

"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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