Today's jokes [6.25.10]
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Why does a Jewish American Princess close her eyes during sex?
She can't stand it to see her husband enjoy himself.
Software Development Process
1) Order the T-shirts for the Development team
2) Announce availability
3) Write the code
4) Write the manual
5) Hire a Product Manager
6) Spec the software
(writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the
software meets the specifications)
(the customers are a big help here)
9) Identify bugs as potential enhancements
10) Announce the upgrade program
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only catch him sitting
on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of
fucking his wife. Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection
with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny
asked curiously "What ya doin' dad?"
His father qiuckly replied "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.",
to which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"
The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees,
then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally,
after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand
All the while, he'd noticed that the club professional had been watching.
"What club should I use now?" he asked the pro.
"I don't know," the pro replied. "What game are you playing?"
Software Engineering Glossary of Product Terminology
NEW: Different colors from previous version.
ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version.
UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition.
ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn't understand it.
NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix.
BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on a shoe-string budget.
UPGRADED: Did not work the first time.
UPGRADED AND IMPROVED: Did not work the second time.
The Dumpty Dictionary, Version 2.0
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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