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Today's jokes [6.20.10]

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Mary came back from lunch to find that all the girls
in the office had removed their clothes and were lying 
on the floor naked. She lost no time in taking off her 
dress and joining them, but as soon as she laid down
the girl on her right hissed, "Turn over, Mary - this is 
a stock up, not an office party!"

1. 




Two cows were talking in the field one day.

First Cow: Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?
Second Cow: Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it? 

2. 




What is It?

                    Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. 
                    Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not 
                    use his. What is it?

                    A Last name

3. 




This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.
His wife said, "Where are you going ?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Why? Are you sick?"
"No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater
and he said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing
again, I'm  going to get a tetanus shot."

4. 




Q: Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?
A: To smell like big girls.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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