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Today's jokes [6.19.10]

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Two children are in a doctor's waiting room, and one of them is crying. 
"Why are you crying?" asked the other child. 
"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger." 
When he heard this, the other child started to cry. 
"Why are you crying?" 
"I'm here for a urine test."

1. 




   A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road
   strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a
   cloud of feathers.
   
   Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A
   farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed
   your rooster, please allow me to replace him."
   
   "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."
   


2. 




Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95.
Isaac is incredulous. 'Pop,' he says, 'you can't run Windows 95 on your
old, slow 386. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 486 with a
minimum of 16 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with 
Windows 95.'
But Abraham, the man of faith, gazed calmly at his son and replied, 'God
will provide the RAM, my son'.



3. 




Q: What's got 400 legs and no pubic hair?
A: The front row of a Hanson concert

4. 




Q: What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little
   boy after luring him into his car?

A: Hey, go easy on those fucking sweets.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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