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Today's jokes [6.10.10]

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   After working together for a while, Dick and Jane's office romance
   blossomed, and they
   really developed the hots for each other. One day,they seize the
   opportunity to sneak into a
   supply closet to consummate their lust. Dick finds Jane very tight,
   and difficult to enter,
   but finally succeeds. When they are finished, Dick says to her, "If I
   had known you were a
   virgin, I would have taken more time!" To which Jane replies "If I'd
   known you had more
   time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"
   


1. 




Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a 
city kid he's never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, "What's 
that, Miss?"
Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, "That's what your 
Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy."
Tommy thinks for a moment and then says, "I'm not stupid Miss, I know that 
ain't a fucking pig!"

2. 




   I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a
   divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a
   happy man.


3. 




How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?
He enters a duck.
How can you tell if a Pole is present? 
He bets money on the duck.
How can you tell if an Italian is present?
The duck wins. 

4. 




How do old people have oral sex? 

    They talk about it. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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