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Today's poems [5.24.10]

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               A depraved old Jew from Estretto 
               Buggered every young man in the ghetto. 
                    He once had his hose in 
                    A musician, composing, 
               Who said: "Not so slow---allegretto!" 

(Yeah, I know it's nasty...)


There was an old maid in Van Nuys 
               Who went crazy from making mud pies. 
                    She would fill them with farts 
                    And pickled beef-hearts, 
               And bake them between her fierce thighs. 


On his honeymoon sailing the ocean 
               A tightwad displayed much emotion 
                    When he learned, one fine day, 
                    He'd been fucking away 
               What could have been bottled as lotion. 


There was a young girl named Dalrymple 
               Whose sexual needs were so simple. 
                    She enjoyed the full spasm 
                    Of a perfect orgasm 
               By frigging herself on a pimple. 


Said a lesbian lady, "It's sad; 
               Of all of the girls that I've had, 
                    None gave me the thrill 
                    Of real rapture until 
               I learned how to be a tribade." 


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