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Today's jokes [5.18.10]

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On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic 
light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. 

The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa 
bring that to you?" 

The kid says, "Yeah." 

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on 
that bike." 

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety 
violation ticket. 

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, 

"By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring 
that to you?" 

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." 

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick 
underneath the horse, instead of on top."


Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local 
bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear 
about his wedding night.
Jake says, "Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up 
the stairs, undressed me, and lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so's 
me and her could spend the night together. The next morning all three of 
my sons came upstairs and lifted me off of her."
The bartender says, "Why did it take three sons to get you off?"
Jake says, "I fought 'em." 


While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman 
who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his 
hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, 
the executive found himself unable to perform.

On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the
bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair 
curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through 
a movie magazine.

Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. 
Looking down at this, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of 
a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!"


An elephant walks up to a naked guy and says, "How do you breathe out of that thing?"

Sent by abu dahbi


A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian. The lesbian requested a 15 
year old, and the madam replied
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors to lickers." 


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