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Today's jokes [5.17.10]

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This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She
asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards -- something
unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day -- "Happy
Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry."

The blonde replied, "How cool! I'll take the whole box!"

1. 




Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: Because they don't have balls to scratch.


2. 




Q: Did you hear about the dyslectic agnostic with insomnia?
A: He used to lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.

3. 




An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down 
below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the 
mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the 
mouse says: "Tail gunner to pilot...Tail gunner to pilot.."
The eagle says "what do you want?"
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a moment and then says "ohh about 5,000 ft."
The mouse then replies "You wouldn't be shittin me now would ya??"

4. 




Ok, kids, here's the gross one...

Q: What's the difference between acne and a priest?
A: Acne usually comes on a boy's face AFTER he turns 13. 

5. 



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