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Today's jokes [5.1.10]

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For me, penises are a hobby ... kinda like fishing ... The small ones you 
throw back, The good-sized ones you take home for dinner, and The big ones 
you mount."


One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. 
The Blonde asked the clerk what it was.  The Clerk said it was a
thermous.  What does the thermous do?  It keeps hot things hot
and cold things cold. So she bought one. The blonde brought it to
work one day and the blondes boss who also is a blonde said what
is that thing? It is a thermous the first blonde said.  What does
it do? Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. What do you have
in it? I have coffee and a popcycle in it.

Sent by Tom


A man let out a humongous burp. Nearby, a man loudly says,
"How dare you burp before my wife!" The burper replies,
"Hell, I didn't even know she wanted to go first!" 


One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly 
drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was 
followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then 
about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man 
following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My 
wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?" 
"My dog bit her and she died." Dave then asked who was in the second 
hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as 
well." "Can I borrow your dog?" "Get in line." replied the man.


Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:

The French book    - The Sex Life of the Elephant
                 or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant
The English book   - Elephants I have shot on Safari
The Welsh book     - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and
                 or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.
The American book  - How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants
The Japanese book  - How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants
The Greek book     - How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money
The Finnish book   - What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People
The German book    - A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-6.
The Icelandic book - Defrosting an Elephant
The Swiss book     - Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went
                     With His Elephants
The Canadian book  - Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?
The Swedish book   - How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.


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