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Today's stories [4.13.10]

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A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's 
final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not 
showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate 
family member's death. 

One smart ass student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", 
and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had 
subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse,
you can just use your other hand to write."


The other day I was on my way home from work when the most remarkable
thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as I sat there at a
red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into my windshield. If that
wasn't bad enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the
windshield wiper.
Just then the light turned green and there I was with a bird stuck on
my windshield. Without any other apparent options, turning on the
windshield wipers seemed the only thing to do. It actually worked.
On the upswing, the bird flew off, and here is the crazy thing... it
slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind me. No, it didn't
get caught under the windshield wipers of that vehicle, but the car
behind me was a police car.
Of course, knowing my luck, immediately the lights went on and I was
forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told me he saw what
had happened at the light. Trying to plead my case fell on deaf ears.
He simply stated: I am going to have to write you up for flipping me
the bird.

Sent by Matt


An economist is back in his old college town many years after
graduation and decides to drop in on one of his old professors.
He happens to see a copy of an exam sitting on the desk so he
picks it up to look at it. Upon deciding that it looks familiar he
comments to the professor that it is the same exam that he had
taken 10 years ago. The professor assures him that this is
correct but adds that this time the answers are different. 


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