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Today's stories [4.10.10]

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Recently I answered the phone and it was a sales person
from a long distance company. They asked for my late father
by name.
"I'm sorry," I answered, "but he's dead."
Their reply, "May I leave a number in case the situation


Noted Dough Boy Dies

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday
of a severe yeast infection He was 71. He was buried Friday
in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of
celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the
California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the
Hostess Twinkies The graveside was piled high with flours,
as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy,
describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie,
and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still,
even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children,
and... one in the oven. 


Seen on ABC News on April 1:

"Egypt's emerging papyrus technology continues to alarm
parents and law enforcement. A new bill introduced today
would let the government regulate material found on papyrus.
Legislators said paperspace, as it is known to so-called
'writers', is becoming a haven for monotheists, con artists
and worse hoping to prey on the young and gullible. A little
bit later in this broadcast we will have some tips on how
to shield your children from offensive and dangerous material
found on the dangerous papyrus." 


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