Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's quotes [4.6.10]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
   Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
   Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your
   principles or your mistress."


Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.
   -- Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator"


"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests
   don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I
   haven't been through in school."
   -Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman
   because of academic requirements


"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
   prison for three years, not Princeton."
   -Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
   with promoter Don King


"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed
   as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as
   quickly promoted as a male schlemiel."
   --- Bella Abzug


BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 April '10 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
            1  2  3  
4  5  6  7  8  9  10 
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 
25 26 27 28 29 30 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.