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Today's quotes [4.22.10]

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"Life without you would be like a broken pencil." "How's that?"
       "Completely pointless." -- Blackadder, Series II


If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
       him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another
       cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."


"Oh yeah? My ENTIRE FAMILY was killed by gangsters... or maybe they moved
 to Tucson... and now I crave VENGEANCE."
"HA! My entire family AND MY DOG were crushed during a civil war re-
 enactment... and now I'm ITCHING to dispense justice indiscriminately!!"
"I just like to KILL people."
                        -- Various generic vigilante superheroes, "The Tick"


In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination
       should automatically disqualify you.


A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite.
       Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone.
       "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."


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