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Today's poems [4.15.10]

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i'm sick

       i've got a virus
       i'm sickety-sick 
       i feel like a used tissue
       ickety-ick

       my head is congested
       mucous overload
       if i blow my nose once more,
       i will explode!

       i'm whiny,i'm cranky ,
       i'm stuck in my bed 
       my face is puke green 
       and my nose is bright red!

       my eyes are all bloodshot
       my nostrils are crusting;
       this sickness has made 
               me look 
          Truly Disgusting

       i cough and i sneeze 
       spreading germs everywhere 
       my room is a health hazard-
       Visitors BEWARE!!

       being sick is no fun 
       in fact,it's a pain
       i'm told i'll get better soon!
       untill then...i'll complain 

                          by,
                          gabrielle

1. 




There was an old maid from Bruton 
               Who had the bad habit of pootin'. 
                    Her sphincter was weak, 
                    Her wind she couldn't keep--- 
               This tootin' old spinster from Bruton. 

2. 




There was a sad prude out in Iowa 
               Who would say, "Please say it my way: 
                    Do not say fuck, 
                    It don't rhyme with duck. 
               Say untcay and itshay and uckfay." 

3. 




He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication,
she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"

4. 




There was a young man named O'Rourke,
Heard babies were brought by the stork,
    So he went to the zoo
    And attempted to screw
One old bird -- end-result: didn't work.

5. 



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