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Today's poems [4.11.10]

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When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

1. 




There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

2. 




            Remember those two of Aberystwyth 
            Who connected the things that they pissed with? 
                She sat on his lap 
                But they both had the clap, 
            And they cursed with the things that they kissed with. 

3. 




            There once was a young boy named Steven 
            Who noticed his balls were uneven. 
                When he pulled on the right, 
                The left shot out of sight: 
            Not the effect Steve was keen on achievin'. 

4. 




I met her on the internet and I couldn't keep from staring
She had the coolest font I'd ever seen
She was Microsoft, mathmatical, and IBM compatible
And fireworks exploded on my screen
Well, my cursor started blinking like the beating of my heart
And my modem started singing, thinking this could be the start
Chorus:
Of a Techie Love -- between us
With the latest gadgetry
Techie love can be the sweetest
world wide web we weave

Well I courted her with e-mail and with roses from my clip art
I sent romantic faxes everyday
Though I'm kinda shy to tell, heck, I wrote poems that I spell checked
And I bought her software from Comp USA
We were wonderful together how she made me feel so fine 
And we planned a simple wedding on America On-Line

Chorus: And there was techie love between us.......

Then one day there was lightning and it caused some power surges
And you should have seen the look upon my face
Cause I wasn't surge protected, or backed up like you'd expect, it
blew my files somewhere out to cyberspace
Well now nothing lasts forever, I know even good things pass,
So I knew that it was over on the day the hard drive crashed
Chorus: On the techie love between us.......

She's gone, and it megahertz
It's like a virus, only worse
She's gone, but I can't wait
I'll get a new computer that has windows Y2K

Chorus: And there'll be techie love........

c 1998 Mark Hankins

5. 



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