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Today's jokes [4.4.10]

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WE DON'T SERVE WOMEN HERE!
(you have to bring your own) 

1. 




Barbie and G.I. Joe                                                               

    A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her
    turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What
    would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

    The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe."
    Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says,
    "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

    "No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe,
    she fakes it with Ken."

2. 




If a couple from Tennessee get a legal divorce, 
                                         can they still be brother and sister?

3. 




I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. My
secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there it
was, on the back of a kitchen chair. 

4. 




   Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning
   service, and she's in tears.
   
   He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
   
   She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away
   last night."
   
   The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he
   have any last requests?"
   
   She says, "That he did, Father..."
   
   The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
   
   She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the Goddamn gun...'"
   


5. 



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