Today's jokes [4.26.10]
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How do you make a gay baby cry?
Take the pacifier out of his ass.
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a
wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful
country, and on each house I saw a banner."
"What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks.
Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."
Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night
I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more
beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house
flew an enormous banner."
"What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks.
Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."
Two pedophiles were sitting on the beach.
One said to the other "Hey get out of my son!"
In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of
a man's penis was
larger than the shaft. After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded
that the reason the
head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure
After the study was published, the University of South Carolina
decided to do their own
study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that
the reason was to
give the woman more pleasure during sex.
The University of Georgia, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted
their own study.
After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was
to keep a man's
hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a
picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one
raises his/her hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What
animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good
Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra.
None of the students holds up his/her hands. "See the stripes on
this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and
says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next
she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's
something your mother calls your father."
Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."
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