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Today's jokes [4.22.10]

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If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that 
there is an exception to every rule.
If we accept "For every rule there is an exception" as a rule, then we 
must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule 
states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow 
it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception to
the rule that for every rule there is an exception. 

1. 




Partial Dosage

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the
pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said "That's no problem. How
many do you want?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."

The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex
anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough 
so I don't pee on my shoes."

2. 




No $



Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would
like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an
hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble
task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad



3. 




The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately 
to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming 
outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and 
got into the water. 

After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old 
ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got 
out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. 
He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with 
relief. 

The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and 
wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: 'You know , I have 
a special gift, I can read minds.' 

'Impossible', said the embarrassed man, 'You really know what 
I think?' 

'Yes', the lady replied, 'Right now, I bet you think that the 
bucket you're holding has a bottom.' 

4. 




Why do bankers make great lovers? 

     They know the penalty for early withdrawal. 

5. 



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